( CLICK THIS LINK TO START THE SOUNDTRACK: http://www.divshare.com/download/6478474-e86)
*"Testing..uh, Tasting...tasting 1-2-3, tasting...mmm,tasty--"*
Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, GLBT's & visiting humanoid life forms, this is your First Mate and Acting Captain SwamiJim. I'd like to thank you all for stepping back aboard the SS (Stoner Ship) High Seas to attend tonight's Pre-Launch Festival and our very special
"Pick the Ship's Flag" party.
During our President Obama Inauguration Celebration (Episode 2), we asked guests and crew to submit designs for an official High Seas Flag, to visually proclaim our joyous stoner mission wherever we roam in amiaible and aimless confusion around the oceans of the world. Our thanks to all those who sent graphics for our little contest-- and for all those total loados who got too hammered and just forgot all about it, tough luck (and report to the Spanking Room).
And now, at last, your patience is rewarded-- we proudly unveil this choice selection of truly inspired, highly imaginative (and thoroughly degenerate) doper artwork for your consideration!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Toking Lamp is lighted...
I repeat the Toking Lamp is lighted!
(Hhssssssssssppp..."ggmmhh--errrgkk--'Eer, hid-it, quick!...gack!" *wheeeze*)
According to tradition, the use of unique flags by 'independent' ships was begun by the autonomous maritime raiders who came to be known as buccaneers, or pirates, those free-spirited wastrels who made their living by plundering from those who were plundering the New World. We expressly differentiate these seagoing radical entrepreneurs from the 'privateers', who were mercenaries financed by private investors or national governments; the crew & passengers of the SS High Seas may be disreputable dopers, desperadoes and by and large degenerates, but we sure as hell aren't sailing for Exxon or Halliburton!
We will fly the flag of no nation, since one of our goals is to declare that all nations are obsolete. We will embrace all races, declaring racism obsolete; we will accept all adult relationships, declaring gender prejudice obsolete. Our flag will be the symbol of mutual joyful doper humanism, flying for the freedom to celebrate our bodies, our spirits, and our collaborative voyage into the open seas of imagination...
Please cast your vote for the High Seas Ship's Flag during the course of the evening, preferably before you slam too many Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters and are incapable of focusing your eyes... Remember, the artist of the winning design gets a quarter-ounce of Black Nepali hashish and a Hot game of Twister with DoYouHaveAFlag......
On behalf of the entire crew, I'd like to thank you again for stopping by; as you peruse the artwork, please take note of the announcements regarding our upcoming official High Seas Launching Party and cruise itinerary, posted below.
Note that no passports or visas will be required, since the entire extended voyage will be illegal, and probably a collaborative hallucination anyway...
You might wish to start laying in supplies (new shades, flip-flops, suntan lotion, extra rolling papers, etc.). We'd like to encourage you to check into your immunization and make sure you've had all the necessary shots-- and if you've been taking shots fairly regularly, we encourage you to consider checking into rehab. It's the 'in' thing in Hollywood, and certainly no disgrace...
The SS High Seas will begin passenger boarding on Friday, February 13 (you didn't think we could pass that one up, did you?) in Pittsburgh, Pa., at the merger of the Allegheny & Monongahela to form the origin of the Ohio River. Participants from prior Episodes (who provide SwamiJim an e-mail address) will receive an Official High Seas Boarding Pass, which you can print out and frame (or roll up and smoke, whatever).
Following the two-day Boarding & Valentine party, survivors will enjoy a leisurely cruise down river, pausing at points of interest in Ohio and on along Indiana, Illinois (merging onto the mighty Mississippi at Cairo), Missouri and Tennessee. After a tour of Graceland and onboard Elvis Impersonator Night Party, we drift on down the Mississippi, arriving in New Orleans Louisiana approximately February 22, where we will build our High Seas float and 'krewe up' to take part in the Mardi Gras parade.
At the conclusion of Mardi Gras festivities (after everyone sobers up and/or gets bailed out), the High Seas will take its maiden ocean cruise, across the Gulf of Mexico to Ciudad del Carmen on the Yucatan coast. There we will meet with Don Juan, have flying lessons from the brujo and receive the blessings of Mescalito. Departing the Yucatan, we will cruise south along the northern coast of Brazil to Salvadore Bahia and party on what is considered by many to be one of the most beautiful beaches in the world.
Leaving Salvadore, our next Port of Call is Kingston, Jamaica, where we will pay homage to Bob Marley, procure samples and seeds from the finest Rastafarian Ganja to add to our Gro-Dome, and then set sail across the Atlantic, bound for exotic Morocco and a stop in Casablanca for a private party at Rick's Cafe Americain.
We invite you all to begin thinking of future destinations and adventures-- remember, our voyage can go anywhere you want to go, for any escapade our imaginations can conjure. Anyone interested in writing or submitting artwork or audio clips for soundtracks in future Episodes, feel free to contact SwamiJiim. So put on your Thinking Caps, get a good supply of lemons, and JOIN THE SALVATION NAVY TODAY!!
Don't forget to NAME THAT STRAIN!!!
In our last thrill-packed Episode, Science Officer MoK outlined the heroic efforts of the High Seas hotriculture team to develop the ultimate reefer. The premium-grade ganja produced in the High Seas Gro-Dome and Hydroponics Room is so potent we are able to barter it around the planet for the fuel and supplies we need to carry on our worldwide mission of stoned confusion (though we might be forced to board & plunder an occasional cruise liner if we run short of Ronrico 151, caviar or Lobster Thermidore). We are still seeking the appropriate name for our genetically perfected super-bud, so please refer to the picture at the bottom of the page and be sure to enter your suggestions by comment during this evening's festivities. We'll collect all suggestions and have a final vote during our Launch Party and Ohio River journey. Author of the winning Name will receive an ounce of super-weed and an official High Seas Ultra-Bong. This pneumatic-pressurized Nitrous Oxide-carburated shotgun machine delivers hits at an amazing pressure of up to 45 pounds psi; users are advised to always wear appropriate safety glasses and ear plugs when operating this device...
Ladies & gentlemen, King Neptune's Dining Hall is open, the Drunkard's Walk Bar and the Toker's Lounge await your patronage... WELCOME ABOARD the SS High Seas-- Roll Up and sing along....
"Just roll one up and you'll hear a tale--
a tale of a spaced out trip,
that started from this tropic port,
aboard this stoner ship.
The mate was a mighty rollin' man,
the Skipper smashed for sure;
all the passengers set sail that day,
for the three kilo tour,
the three kilo tour....
The bongers started getting smashed,
the hash pipes all were lit.
The cash bar's open & dance hall too
the stoners all get blitzed..."