About a week ago, PIK started a thread titled "Marijuana Yacht for Sale", about the auction of a 250 foot ocean-going yacht, to which some of you tasteless degenerates responded eagerly. (Don't bother shuffling your feet & looking innocent, you know who you are, and you're already under surveillance.) PIK shamelessly advocated that pothead Viners pool our (imaginary) resources & purchase this vessel as a sort of stoner 'Love Boat', to launch a voyage of brain-damaged debauchery around the world. Despite my my sincere pleas for restraint in the face of your mindless giggling encouragement, Captain PIK quickly expanded his original depraved concept into an escapist fantasy series (think Hunter Thompson meets 'The Magical Mystery Tour'), an irregular chronicle of the adventures of a motley crew of like-minded decadents engaged in a journey of fear and loathing on the (very) high seas.
I reluctantly agreed to be part of this dissolute extravaganza after PIK stole my entire stash of Thai-stick & held it for ransom. Traumatized by grief & loss, I began slaving on the greenhouse and other amenities, while ruthless PIK phoned periodically to cough explosively in my ear and laugh sadistically at my pleas for mercy. At this point, I've completed the retro-fit of the Gro-Dome & Hydroponics Room, and created a poll to Name the Reefer Yacht; you're all invited to cast your votes and come aboard for a pre-launch tour. The Name the Yacht poll will run for a week, and passengers are asked to submit further suggestions for ports-of-call on our voyage; anyone interested in helping write for the series, please contact me. As soon as we have the ship named, I'll issue boarding passes and we'll hold the launching party. (Remember, the stoner who submitted the winning name gets to break a bottle of champagne over his/her head at the launch!)
Unfortunately, Captain PIK has been kidnapped by space aliens, and I am forced to continue this farce alone while I negotiate for his release. (Not that I give a damn about PIK being subjected to anal probing, but if I don't spring the bastard, I'll never get my shit back!)
So cast your vote, ROLL UP, and sing along: (to the tune of 'Gilligan's Island)
Just roll one up and you'll hear a tale
a tale of a spaced out trip,
that started from this tropic port,
aboard this stoner ship.
The mate was a mighty rollin' man,
the Skipper smashed for sure;
all the passengers set sail that day,
for the three kilo tour,
the three kilo tour.
The bongers started getting smashed,
the hash pipes all were lit.
The cash bar's open & dance hall too
the stoners all get blitzed.
The stoners all get blitzed.
So this is the tale of our wasted ways,
we're ripped for a long long time.
We'll have to make the best of things,
it's a voyage on the Vine.
The first mate and our stoner crew
will do their very best,
to keep the others hammered out
on our tropic doper quest.
No phone, no lights, who gives a shit,
we can grow out luxuries
as long as we've got papers left
it's ''gimme another hit'.
So join us here each week my friends,
you're sure to all get off,
with all the stoned out castaways--
Hear 'em giggle and cough!
Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, kids! Now you can be part of the problem AND part of the solution. We are the people our parents warned us about...
Some additional pics, taken since the opening of the Name the Yacht and Ship's Tour festivities
King Neptune's Hall is open from 0530 to 0200 hours, serving everything from lobster & prime rib to foot-long cheese coneys; hors d'eouvres are available 27/7 in the Main Lounge
The Drunkard's Walk Bar & Dance Emporium is open round the clock, serving a full range of wine & spirits, 12 varieties of tasty cannabis, 5 types of hashish and diverse stimulants & hallucinogens. Drunkard's Walk is the ONLY source of authentic Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters on planet Earth...